Oh, great oracle codigonovense! What designs presents us with thy inscrutable will? To answer the big questions of our readers, a week later we transcribed the wild imaginings of our oracle-fellow who will give answers to your doubts, the most intimate and transcendental. Read, enjoy and follad (if you can) that with Trump, Putin and Rajoy on the loose, the world could end tomorrow (or past, that morning I left).
“Girl and if you look at me I look at you… I eat, I like”. Already said it himself and illustrious seer tv Sandro King (by now gotten into the sublime world of the creators of the song of the summer) that if you stop looking with eyes of character encourage in love with that girl that you love so much, it will eventually pass something: that you eat the boogers. You have to take action to wet ALREADY. Your odds of catching are 50%.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, you’re already taking a long time to learn english because with so much exotic beauty in the terraces and bars of the Spanish coast, you’re missing a unique opportunity to find your god empotrador nordic. Yes, daughter, yes. A Thor who hits you with his hammer Mjollnir and send you directly to one of the orgies of Valhalla. We’re going that you are going to pass pipa. In addition, scandinavians are all feminists. Yeah.
Please! Lords of Jazztel, Ono, or any distributor of WiFi of the Universe, to close once the connection to this uncle. See, orc encuevado, there is a whole world with real people beyond the Playstation 4, Netflix, HBO, and PornHub. Is called and in the world there are people with genitalia of truth that could provide you with much more pleasure and your whole shed geek together (well, maybe the same as your vaginas in a can). In the end, ¡¡¡that you come already to the world!!! This weekend ‘nothin ‘of nothin’’.
Do you know when you itch the mosquito and you have to leave the tent at 10 in the morning because it can not withstand the heat? Yes, you’re not going to rid this summer. Tap plan getaway ‘cuki’ with your partner and as you are more pelaos (pasta) that Aless Gibaja, you are going to ride in plan on camping with the tent 2” of the Decathlon, the tupperware of tortilla and the smell of feet on the mat after a kick by the mountain in the full sun I will burst the soul. Let’s what comes from being the love.
See, see… we have consulted telepathically with the oracle of the planet Raticulí-Alpha-Ganymede and has told us that at this same time your chances to get wet are 100%. Yes, yes, even if you feel less sexy than a croquette of chicken frozen you have the stars of your part and secure you just caught out with that person with that you take weeks ‘stalkeando’ by Instagram. So, grab ‘to guenaken’ that’s probably going to be one of these experiences that will tatuarás a colleague in the front.
Uy, uy, uy. We have been told out there that you are happy flower smiling up to the cashiers of the Mercadona and listening to Adele on loop. You’re in love and the world conspires to the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, for others to perceive. But you start to give a bit of stick to your colleagues because you’re really pesad* and your Instagram Stories has so much sweetness that begins to cause diabetes to those who are watching you. Make us a favor and set aside a little bit of so much love until the fall, my dear.
Much ufffff! fuck, fuck… you’re not going to fuck. Sit back and grab a bottle from Font Vella of the fridge because it seems to me that is going to give you a stroke. See, someone had to say: you’re so fucking brown that you start to seem dangerously close to Leticia Sabater. Yes aunt, as you story. You’ve spent too many hours posing solete on your Instagram during your trip to Menorca and the side effects are manifesting becoming the closest thing to Donnatella Versace that we have seen. Do not you know that you have to cream?
Yes, this weekend you click. But do not kid yourself. Will be one of those weekends in which to your boyfriend, you will turn on the bulb and after watching an episode of the seventh season of Game of Thrones will tontorrón. Total that in the end I marcaréis a bun missionary three-minute that will leave you as indifferent to that (WARNING SPOILER) the fall of Rock Casterly at the hands of the immaculate and the Dothraki. Yes, the time has come to try ‘things new’, and rekindle the spark of passion.
The day that Nacho Vidal will leave that to the porn, there should be you to ‘plug this huge hole. You are insatiable, your hormones control every one of your acts, and you have the Xvideos cast of click that you get. Although I’ll give you a tip: this weekend, relax a little and focus on your spiritual life. Lights up some candles and try some meditation technique. Sure that on Monday you see everything a little more clear and you realize that sex is cool a lot, but without abusing. Good luck.
What your begins to resemble the relationship of Sansa Stark and Peter Baelish ‘Pinky’. While your you sweat enough of his face, he is still plotting to win your heart. But get one thing on the head: you are the queen of the North and only you have the power to send that slimy back to your brothel King’s Landing (ok, this whole metaphor is very geek, but catch for where we’re going, isn’t it?). In summary, you to take off the pelmazo this of in means that there are more fish in the sea, especially in Ibiza.
Roses are red, the sky is blue and this weekend… all fucked unless you. What you want more clear? It is not that we want to sink your self-esteem but if you move less that the goalkeeper of the football table in the disk as it is normal for no one to come to you not with a stick. In addition, it to hold the rum and coke in the bar’s cool to talk about with your cronies , but from the fifth he begins to give quite penica. Our advice is that you sign up to some good salsa classes and offer something more than the whiff of bulk to your flirting.
We know that you want to try and yes, it is something worth doing once in your life. This weekend you montarás your first trio epic next to the chulazo of the place and your best friend. Yes, that is very hardcore that thinking on doing guarreridas with your friend on the side watching but you’ll see that five minutes or you remember their presence and let yourself be carried away by that moment of sexual tension. The worst thing that could happen is that I will not mole and is the technique of running a veil forever and ever about the matter. Ale, as if I hadn’t spent ?