What fucking love is when you don’t know what to be bound by. There are those who have a roll, you are ‘the’re fuck buddies’, who are married without knowing it or that are more singles who Pocholo in a after Ibiza. For all of them, to know what your future holds Cupid on Valentine’s day and the weeks to come is a matter of life or death. What I will confront the drought total? I will find out the contacts of Tinder by the ears? Will I continue eating partridges with my ‘cookie’? In New Code we’ve set out to shed a bit of light on that uncertain future with a horoscope more sincere than a hug from the fifth rum and coke. The stars will guide you:
You’re already taking a long time to go to get flowers at the grocery store, or the box of chocolates most expensive in the Carrefour. You woke up in 2017, giving the bag to your partner and continuing to do so. Although no one will be able to throw in my face that you will not be loving and faithful, have the head larger than Doraemón with the mumps. You are stubborn and your churri is up to a step of sending to pick up strawberries in Huelva. So as you read this run for chocolate and flowers. Still time to bribe your partner.
Get ready for the depression on Valentine’s day. You’re alone and you continue so for some time, you may forever. These days will not attract nor to the flu and the thing is not going to improve. We hope you will have at hand a wifi level Magneto of the Xmen because you’re going to melt all the series on Netflix and HBO until 2018. But I have good news for you: At the end of the month the stars will align for you to get out of the pit of onanism. So, for the moment, the best thing to do is to take it easier and tanning your keys. Mood.
Eye to the buzz that comes on top: this spring you’re going to have a smash hit. You’re starting to molarte (a lot), and others detect. Your account of Instagram is a blast of likes and you rain down the innuendo in the work, in uni, etc, Although I still don’t know it, your ex will crawl to you this Valentine’s day to ask for the opportunity to be your new slave. But, as we said Yoda, a great power comes a great responsibility. The karma you watching closely.
Please, check the ring finger before you continue reading. You can you’re not watching but the ring of married is there. Those evenings of love in front of the sofa, blanket and series, of flatulence and laughter, have had a devastating effect on your life: you are happy. The only advice is that you monitor the tummy of happiness does not turn into the nine months. Do you sound like those Durex? Well, you know.
Do you know the horns that carries your sign of horoscope? Because they are the premonition most dodgy of your future. You know, the face of love of your churri, and the gifts of more than 50 euretes only are translating material from its discomfort by pegártela. Is the reason for your headaches, of work at the uni up the many, of sleep in the home of his best friend (he is also on the garlic). Our advice is that you put land of by means and you advance in the exciting world of being single. You may even end up liking.
You are the bipolarity in a pure state. Even if today you feel like a cold and calculating, I guarantee that from this Valentine’s day you’re going to turn into a bear-loving. Need cuddles and there’s no doubt in search of a morenazo/to which you provide them. Although the hardest of the winter has already past, it never hurts to have someone that can lift the mood, and you imbed, yes, with tenderness. So now you know: get out there and get the poster AVAILABLE. Cupid you are pointing to.
Inside of your armor inside you’re more to delight Nacho Vidal in a full shoot. However, your inability to relate with the outside world is starting to affect you seriously. It is time to install Tinder, Happn and all the applications of mobile that allow you to stop having the sexuality of an amoeba. You need a good dust and that you remove all that nonsense from your inner being and other little things that you repeat to autocomplacerte.
Das fear, so clear. Even if you’re more good than the hummus from Mercadona, you can’t go through life by devouring the hearts of the unwary that cross your path. Slightly lifting the foot from the accelerator, because the karma you are booking a ‘caranchoa’ mythical and you will notice that go femme fatale or fucker for the life it can bring you many problems in the medium term. Our advice is that you go a week to a spiritual retreat, you become a buddhist or that you turn off the heater and don’t come out of the cold shower.
Do you know why they call you virgo? It is pure irony. The story is that you should rethink the squeeze that way to your partner. In other words: the fuck to it ‘rabbity’ cool at the beginning but then times out. For people like you, you put a donkey up with the ads of the Calipo at the kiosks, have invented toys very cool that they are called dildos. If you’re a guy, a visit once in a while at Porntube will keep your wedding from becoming a swiss cheese.
p class=”p3″>Before you make the huge mistake of promising infinite love to your partner you should make a trip. I am speaking of a true journey, one of those that you just want and allow you to discover the meaning of life. Something like the initiatory journey of Siddhartha, who wrote Hermann Hesse. Your mind and your heart need. If on returning you still see that person the same way, you will know that the time has come to lay the head.
If you have to tell him that you love, that you want to be your chocolate this Valentine’s day, you want to die for her/him as Di Caprio in Titanic, the time has come. Get ready because there is no better date than February 14 to give the coup of grace in the heart of your victim. Yes, don’t be crappy and cúrrate something better than the typical flowers, chocolates or a date at the cinema. So now you can fundirte the Wallapop to find something good, nice and cheap if you want to succeed at what low cost.
There is an old chinese proverb that says that “to be able to fill your cup you have to empty it first.” Do you know what that means? That let fuck your ex with pocket for WhatsApp. Do not be heavy. That rehagas your fucking life once and you raise that bitterness that will not let you move forward and, worse still, they leave be happy for others. But your toxicity has a remedy: it is time to look forward and look to new horizons. Drop the victim role and live. As said Timon and Pumba: Hakuna Matata.